#003

2012-01-09T00:43:00.006+08:00

I know it's a brand new year although it's been more than a week now. I haven't really gotten an opportunity to share with the world about my 2011. Nah, I'm not really 'sharing with the world'.

I'm just gonna post this for me to read in the near future even though it's pretty redundant cause I can read all my depressing previous posts from last year. I chose to hide all my archives except the ones you can read here cause they're oh so demoralizing.

Basically, I've learnt a lot in 2011. I've learnt that my whole perception of life is wrong. I always thought that our actions shape the future. I guess I was wrong. I'm sure certain people would disagree with what I say now about fate. But, I strongly agree that everything is a coincidence. It's all meant to be.

I was off the rails for more than 150 days in that year. That was overwhelmingly intense of someone who was only seventeen with no real direction in life. Honestly, I hate thinking of the future. I spend too much time fixing my present that I just betray my future. But that's the best cause everything is meant to be. A minor mistake in my life can change everything, even if I were to skip that mistake, life would go on.

Apart from learning the true meaning of fate, I realized that some people are just not worth it. I'm not going to name anyone because it's not important. Mainly, I'd say this because if they were worth it, they'd make you feel worthy too. This is why I can sieve out who has been there for me, especially after my absence for a month or two or even more...

Also, I learnt that people love to betray. Yes, betrayal is a bliss. I'm not trying to bring out the past to poke people with needles like a voodoo doll. But hey, betrayal isn't just a bliss, it's a fucking bitch in disguise. I hope all these people who got a wonderful chance to do this to me, would never get any bit of forgiveness from me, unless they begged for it (which most didn't/would never).

Who cares? No one gives a fuck about sins anymore, right?

In spite of all these betrayal, I bet the worst one would be the propaganda. There's more than one, unfortunately. I have learnt so much about these more than I learnt about it in History. It's awesome, to an extent that I didn't really bother thinking about what people talked about me. If it's not true, then why should I ponder about it? Why should I feel distressed at lies? LIES ABOUT ME? WHY? LOL.

Cause people love believing in lies more than the truth. That's why I typed a "LOL" in the previous paragraph. Cause this is one of the best reasons why I'm not like one of these people.

#002

2012-01-04T21:57:00.001+08:00

#001

2012-01-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

I'd never thought I'd really love you so much till this extent but I do. It's amazing how you opened up my heart to love again. I never knew love was so beautiful. No one has ever made me feel this way. I'm not typing this just to sound sweet but it's the truth, and it is only the truth.

:')

Yana

#003

#002

#001